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That takes time and safety. America and most of the world lacks LGBTQ-inclusive sex education, so the vast number of us learn about sex through porn, and most porn scenes involve gay anal sex. In my humble opinion, I think this is a rite of passage for every gay man. The first time having sex sober. The "I need a Grindr quickie so I can get a full night's sleep".

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The first time having sex with someone you really like.

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Is it possible to get pounded like they do in porn in real life? Pleasurable anal sex in particular is strongly affected by psychological and biological factors that you need to understand for yourself. This post is also available in: This does not mean that every sexual encounter must be romantic or loving, but every sexual partner should know how to help themselves and their partner with whatever feelings arise. Let me repeat that: Lee Kinseya psychotherapist and sex therapist at The Montfort Group in Plano, Texas, who primarily works with gay and straight relationships that are struggling to achieve meaningful and pleasurable sex.

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He smacks your butt hard, or he rests his hands on your throat, applying a little pressure. You can kiss, give oral sex or a handjob on your side. When you learn to listen to your mind, heart and body, sexual pleasure will come — whether it involves an anus or not. Drunk and distraught, he told me that his drunken hookup had gone bad. Stupidly fun drunk sex.

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